Monday, September 22, 2008

HappyBirthday Daddy!







Today is my dad's birthday. I was blessed with such an awesome father. I have so many childhood memories that just make me smile and be so grateful to have such a great dad. He was probably my favorite playmate I ever had. He took me on sled rides, he hung me the most awesome tire swing, he took me on hikes, took me fishing, had snowball fights with me, he was always there for me. In November of 1993, right after I got married, my daddy was diagnosed with cancer. It broke my heart. I had seen so many people in my family suffer with this awful disease. I prayed for my dad every day. I prayed that he would not be taken away from me. The doctor told him that if he was lucky - he would live five years. When I asked him what he wanted for Christmas that year, he told me 5 more Christmases. I told him that I would talk to the man upstairs and see what I could do. My dad never complained. He always had the most positive optimistic attitude. We called him a "chemo junkie" because he would feel better after chemo and when he started feeling bad again, he would ask for chemo. The strange thing was that I would sometimes feel the pains my father felt. I had never had a charlie horse before - but I would wake up in the middle of the night crying in pain with a horrible Charlie horse. I would always look at the clock... and sure enough, the next day I would call my dad and ask how his night was last night. He would always say he was feeling fine - but would finally admit that he had woke up at the exact same time with a Charlie Horse. One day, I all of a sudden felt dizzy and felt as if I was going to pass out. Since I was going through fertility treatments at the time, I thought maybe I was pregnant. But when I talked to my dad that evening, I found out that he had been in the emergency room at the same time - feeling faint and dizzy. Somehow, it made me feel closer to him to suffer some of the same pains that he did. I know that what I felt was only a small percentage of what he felt - but I always knew when he was feeling bad. He finally realized that he could not lie to me and tell me he felt fine if he was not. I continued to pray for my dad every day - I prayed that God would not take my daddy away from me. My dad continued to have his great sense of humor. He took a turn for the worse - the doctors told him that the cancer had gone to his liver. We all know the normal outcome for that. The family was preparing for the worse- but not me. I just had a feeling that the doctors were wrong - he had more than 3-6 months to live. The rest of the family thought I was in denial. But I knew. I felt it in my heart. Maybe I did not want to face the fact that my daddy could leave me - or - maybe I was right. Well, my dad did overcome that cancer. Being the chemo junkie that he is - he won that battle, but still had many more to go. By the summer of 2000 he was getting bad again. I had moved away, but decided to come back for what I knew would be his last days. Chris came back before me and stayed in my parents beach condo. They would come there every week on Fridays and go back on Monday morning. I am so grateful for this time away from Chris, because it gave him the opportunity to REALLY get to know my parents. He came to understand where I get my sense of humor and some of my mannerisms. I had never realized how much I was like my dad until Chris pointed it out. I finally returned in July. In December, we were planning what we all anticipated would be our last Christmas together as a family. My sister had airline tickets to come to Virginia, we had reservations for Christmas dinner at Colonial Williamsburg. Chris had a job interview in Dallas, then they called him asking him to come back again and bring me. I flew to Dallas with him and while on a layover coming home, I called my dad. We had a wonderful, heartfelt conversation. When I hung up the phone, I cried. I somehow knew that it was my last conversation with my dad. When we got back to Virginia, I was sick with the flu and unable to visit my dad. I was trying so hard to get better so that I could spend Christmas with the family. I did not get to talk to my dad on the phone during those few days - he was not feeling up to it. I changed my prayers that month. I stopped asking God not to take my father away. I started asking him to PLEASE not let my daddy suffer. On December 20, 2000 my mother and I talked on the phone. My dad was actually telling her he felt really bad. This was not like my father - he never complained. We talked about whether or not to bring Hospice in. We decided that if we did - he may give up. Later that evening, I got a phone call from my mother. She asked me to meet her at the hospital, the ambulance had just left with my dad. I hung up the phone and dropped to the floor, crying at what I knew would come next. Chris drove me to the hospital where they asked us to wait in the family room. I knew when they asked us to wait there that my fears were a reality. I know that my mom knew too. A young doctor came in to give us the news. There was nothing they could do, my father had passed. I cried so hard that night that I cried one of my contacts out. I hoped that I would wake up and it would all have been a bad dream. Unfortunately, it was very much real. My fathers body was taken to West Virginia, where we buried him just before Christmas. The funeral was different than any I have ever been to. We had lots of music before hand. We had the song "Wind Beneath My Wings" which was the song my dad and I danced to at my wedding reception. We also had my uncle singing "How Great Thou Art". At the graveside, as previously requested by my dad, my Uncle sang Vince Gill's song "Go Rest High on That Mountain". Christmas day, we opened gifts from my father. It was the worst Christmas of my life. Although I was happy to be with family - there was an important part of our family that was missing. We kept our reservations for dinner, when we arrived they seated us at the table. Since we were one person short, they began removing the silverware, glasses and napkins from what would have been my daddy's seat. I felt as if they were tearing my heart out of my chest with their bare hands. I remember when I was in fourth grade, one of my friends' fathers died on Christmas day. I had feared that my dad may die on Christmas day as well - the thought never entered my mind that he could die before Christmas. He was so close to holding on, but he lost his battle. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my daddy. I can still not hear the songs "Wind Beneath My Wings" or "Go Rest High on That Mountain" without crying. Sometimes I even cry when I hear "How Great Thou Art". Yes, there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him. But there is also not a day that goes by that I do not know how truly I was blessed to have him as a father. So - Happy Birthday Daddy - I love you and I miss you everyday.... Until we meet again....

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

If I were president.....

--I would require Iraq to fund (or at least assist in funding) the efforts over there. Why do we pay the Iraqi Police and Iraqi Army anyway?
--With money saved in Iraq - I would raise the pay for our military.
--I would lower the price of chocolate.
--Those who took out loans beyond what they could afford to pay would suffer the consequences (don't want to sound cold or cruel - but they took the gamble). Why should everyone elses' tax dollars be spent to bail them out while we all continue to struggle ourselves. Let them rent for a while until they save up to buy WITHIN their financial means.
--I would outlaw automated answering systems for businesses.
--IF the government were to bail out any companies - it would not come without consequence to the company and money previously spent in Iraq would go towards that
--Chocolate would be on top of the food pyramid.
--I would temporarily force those companies that hire ILLEGAL immigrants to pay the taxes that those illegals were avoiding. The end goal would be to have those people earn their citizenship and pay their own taxes. Borders would be closed and anyone wanting to come live in our country would be required to come legally. If someone is here illegally and they break another law - they would be imported.
--We would go to a 4 day work week.
--I would let the public vote on whether to change to a flat tax or fair tax system - but would NOT leave things how they are now.
--Government assistance would be provided for those who help themselves - let them work part time or at lower paying jobs and subsidize their money - but dont give money for nothing. If they truly can not find a job - then they would be required to do community service to earn their assistance.
--Hurricane victimes (those who owned homes)would be assisted in building similar homes that are NOT below sea level or on the coast. Those who rented will be assisted with finding suitable housing comparable to what they were previously renting (off the coast and above the sea level). Note I said "assisted" it would not just be given to them. They must help themselves as well.


Of course I would never run for president - because I would HATE to recieve all the bashing that political candidates (and their spouses) recieve.....

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Still Not Sure Who to Vote For?

Here is some food for thought:


Would you feel safe with him as our commander in chief?
Obama - 5/18/08 "Iran, Cuba, Venezuela are small countries, they do not pose a serious threat" huh? is he serious? Oh wait - no - he said something different on Super Tuesday... "Iran is a great threat"

He wants to pull out the troops TODAY (9/12/07).... oh wait... he has changed his mind again....

I remember a couple years ago, I told my husband that I thought Obama would run for president someday - I told him, oh - not the 2008 election, he is not ready yet - but someday - maybe 2012, 2016.... Well, I was wrong - ready or not here he comes. He is a great speaker. But I feel actions speak much louder than words. And all I get from his actions are tiny little whispers.....


And More Brain Food:


Induced Labor Abortion and Partial Birth Abortion are barbaric procedures!

McCain may not have been my original FIRST choice.... but right now, he is my only choice.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Roller Derby? Me?

I remember, as a kid and on in to my teen years, sitting on the sofa with my Grandpa watching Roller Derby. I loved to watch the Roller Derby as a kid. I would go to the skating rink often and I must confess, I never fantasized about being a figure skater.... I only fantasized about being in the Roller Derby. I remember finding "Roller Jams" on TV after Chris and I were married. I would sneak and watch Roller Jams when it came on - trying to hide that little secret from Chris. But one time I did not get the channel changed fast enough and he caught me watching. I expected to get harassed because of my hate of WWE and the barbaric nature of it -but no - Chris sat down and watched it with me. I am not sure why Roller Jams stopped coming on TV, but it was very much missed by me. The other day Chris and I were talking about skating and I brought up the Roller Derby again. It got me curious and I did a quick Google search to see if there were any roller derby teams anymore. To my surprise - it seems to be the fastest growing sport in the world! And can you believe it --- HUNTSVILLE has their very own derby team! The Dixie Derby Girls (Click on the "Roller Derby? Me?" Title above to go to their home page). It has made me want to try skating again. If I could get as good as I was as a teenager I would try out for the Dixie Derby Girls. Yep - that's right - they are recruiting! So I need to get me a new pair of skates (have no idea what happened to my old pair) and start practicing. Anybody want to go to the rink with me?

Friday, September 5, 2008

Early Morning Antics

OK - everyone that knows me, knows that I am NOT a morning person. Will someone please explain that to my kitty cats? I can not believe that I used to call my sweet Duchess a Psycho Kitty. Now that I have my terror of a kitty - Pauper, I know how wrong I truly was. Duchess is actually laid back in comparison to Pauper. Duchess can be playful and believe me, Pauper encourages that. But all her cute little Psycho Kitty moments were not enough to prepare me for Pauper. Each morning, the Pauper wakes me - she runs and darts all over the room just like Duchess - only FASTER. I did not think that was possible. She tries to jump up in bed with me every morning, so we have our arsenal of water guns at our bedside. The other day, I was startled from a sound sleep by little whiskers tickling my face. We used to leave our closet doors open (don't ask me why - I don't know - we just did). Now, we must keep them closed because Pauper thinks that our hanging clothes are a climbing toy. She has taken to playing in the fireplace (not to be confused with how Duchess HID in the fireplace). You can not go to the bathroom in the master bathroom without the kitties opening the door and running in. They both feel like the reason I sit on the toilet is so that they can climb up in my lap. Yesterday, was the last straw.... I keep their food and water dish in the Garden tub in our bathroom so that TaiChi will not get it (she is terrified of tubs because tubs = baths). Their food dish was empty, so I was bent over, leaning in to the tub, filling their food dish - when all of a sudden - BAM! Pauper tried to jump OVER me. She jumps high - but was not quite high enough to clear my bent over body. She slammed right in to my shoulder - HARD - knocking my balance off, causing me to have to catch myself with my hand, thus spilling the cat food all in the bath tub. I swear, that kitty needs valium! Today, she has taken up a new hobby. I am not sure why she started this today - maybe because all summer I have worn shorts - but she now tries to climb up my pants leg. She seems oblivious to the fact that TaiChi is a dog and MUCH BIGGER than she is. Poor Taichi has had to chase her away several times. She likes the way Taichis tail wags when she is happy. I do love her - I love all three of my fur babies, but I do feel bad for Taichi - she is outnumbered. Hmmmm - maybe I should get another doggy for Taichi to balance things out....