Early Morning Antics

OK - everyone that knows me, knows that I am NOT a morning person. Will someone please explain that to my kitty cats? I can not believe that I used to call my sweet Duchess a Psycho Kitty. Now that I have my terror of a kitty - Pauper, I know how wrong I truly was. Duchess is actually laid back in comparison to Pauper. Duchess can be playful and believe me, Pauper encourages that. But all her cute little Psycho Kitty moments were not enough to prepare me for Pauper. Each morning, the Pauper wakes me - she runs and darts all over the room just like Duchess - only FASTER. I did not think that was possible. She tries to jump up in bed with me every morning, so we have our arsenal of water guns at our bedside. The other day, I was startled from a sound sleep by little whiskers tickling my face. We used to leave our closet doors open (don't ask me why - I don't know - we just did). Now, we must keep them closed because Pauper thinks that our hanging clothes are a climbing toy. She has taken to playing in the fireplace (not to be confused with how Duchess HID in the fireplace). You can not go to the bathroom in the master bathroom without the kitties opening the door and running in. They both feel like the reason I sit on the toilet is so that they can climb up in my lap. Yesterday, was the last straw.... I keep their food and water dish in the Garden tub in our bathroom so that TaiChi will not get it (she is terrified of tubs because tubs = baths). Their food dish was empty, so I was bent over, leaning in to the tub, filling their food dish - when all of a sudden - BAM! Pauper tried to jump OVER me. She jumps high - but was not quite high enough to clear my bent over body. She slammed right in to my shoulder - HARD - knocking my balance off, causing me to have to catch myself with my hand, thus spilling the cat food all in the bath tub. I swear, that kitty needs valium! Today, she has taken up a new hobby. I am not sure why she started this today - maybe because all summer I have worn shorts - but she now tries to climb up my pants leg. She seems oblivious to the fact that TaiChi is a dog and MUCH BIGGER than she is. Poor Taichi has had to chase her away several times. She likes the way Taichis tail wags when she is happy. I do love her - I love all three of my fur babies, but I do feel bad for Taichi - she is outnumbered. Hmmmm - maybe I should get another doggy for Taichi to balance things out....